One day as if for no reason and out of nowhere, a cloud was lifted and it hit me. I could finally see where I was headed because I finally understood where I was. Like everyone else, I have a story. I've had experiences that were horrific and I have had experiences of such beauty that they are beyond words. I've done some pretty messed up things that I would never admit to in a court of law and I have experienced a very deep and intense sense of love and compassion for everyone and everything around me. Life up til now has been an extreme in dualities. When this proverbial cloud was lifted, it was like standing in the center of my life with a 360 degree view. And as I turned and looked, everything became very detailed and I could see it clearly. And the weird part is that the more detailed things became, the more transparent they became and the more clearly I could see through it. And this was the place where I found me.
For lack of a better analogy, life has become kinda like an acid trip that I am able to turn on almost at will and I can be in complete awe of everything around me as if seeing it for the first time. But it's better than that because I get to see everything for the first time over and over again any time I can bring myself back into the moment. Now I know that I haven't figured it all out but I think that is a part of the peace that I have been able to experience. I don't know all of the answers. I've learned a few, but all in all I don't know much. And I don't really want to know all of the answers. It's a whole lot funner to entertain and explore the possibilities. Dr. Fred Alan Wolf said that the key to life is not to be in the know, it is to be in the mystery. And when I started to let go of the expectations, prejudices and stringent beliefs, life began to open up and show me the tremendous gift of our existense. Do you wanna know what that gift is? It is the greatest gift that existence has ever known: It's what ever you want it to be!
When I was growing up, I took a less than desirable path in life. I was kicked out of 3 schools in the 9th grade and about half way through the year after being booted for the 3rd time from the 3rd school, my formal education came to an end. At 15 years old, I picked up a job flippin burgers at Wendy's, sold a little weed on the side and got my own 2 bedroom apartment that my Mother signed for. And because I was so young, crazy and clueless, (scary combo) I was getting kicked out of apartments like I was getting kicked out of schools and Mom would have to come down and enroll me into another apartment. You can only imagine how wild it was for a bunch of young teenagers with no parents around, 2 empty bedrooms, a bottle of whatever we were drinking that night and a fridge full of beer. I got to experience those college years while still in the middle of puberty.
Even though those were some great times, it didn't come without a price.
One night I was walking up to the door with my keys in hand ready to unlock it and a car pulled up behind me and shot me. My Friend Jimmy was shot in the chest right across the street from me. My friend Brad's house was shot up while his folks were sleeping right down the street. I could probably hit his place with a 6 iron. This 1 Block was crazy. Just the 400 block. The block over was nice. Yards were all kept up with roses and manacured lawns. But then you go over one block and you have crackheads, people walking around drunk, on pcp, fights breaking out etc. And you always had to watch who was driving into the neighborhood. If you didn't recognize a car, you'd better duck behind a parked car. It was crazy like that all day and all night. Most people didn't have jobs so everyday was a bbq that started at lunch when everyone rolled out of bed with a hangover from yesterdays bbq and ended when we were either taken to jail or someone had to carry us to a bed or a couch.
Then, something happened one night that planted a seed in me which changed my life forever. As it did for many others. It was about a year or so after I was shot and my best friend was at home with his family. Earlier that night a bunch of people were arrested for fighting so things were pretty tense in the neighborhood. I called him on the phone to see what was going on. After a short conversation, I told him that myself along with a friend who was with me would be walking down to his house in about 15 minutes. He only lived 3/4 of the block from my place. Shortly after that call, I heard a lady scream, and then tires squeeling and the lady scream again. The friend that was with me and I grabbed some weapons and ran outside. Just as we exited the door the car that I heard squeeling it's tires went flying by the front of my place. My friend and I immediately ran as fast as we could to get to Nathan's which took us maybe 10 seconds, but it seemed like forever. Nathan was on his front porch on his hands and knees with a knife sticking maybe an inch and a half out of his back. The guy who did it shoved the knife in with the palm of his hand and it went through a main artery right under the heart. And here I was holding my best friend, assuring him that he was going to be ok while covered in his blood as he was passing away.
Nathan's life was so much more valuable than a color. That thought kept playing through my head over and over. The gang life didn't seem that important any more. I realized that the pride that I would kill and die for was false. When I got shot, I got pissed. When Nathan was killed, I got better.
A few nights after Nathan's death, a few of the boys came to talk to me and I was blown away with what they had to say. They said that Nathan always talked about how I could do something good in my life and that the gang life is not where I belonged. He told them that he sees something better in me, and they gave me my walking papers and told me to go do it. I was given an opportunity at a new life from my best friend even after he was gone. I internalized that and this never ending process of intentional change began. And I had a lot of changing to do.
The reason that I tell you this is because everyonce in a while everyone needs a reminder that it always has been and always will be possible to overcome your circumstances, change the course of your life and completely rewrite your history. It's possible for you to turn it all around and design your life the way you want it to be. It's possible! It doesn't matter what side of the tracks you grew up on. It doesn't matter who did what to who. It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that the vision you hold for yourself right now is possible for you right now!
After I came through that part of my life, I changed course and was presented with a different kind of lesson in life. I used what I learned from hustling on the streets and put together 2 advertising publications that brought me and my partner more money in one month than we have ever seen in 2 years. But, I fell into another trap. As I started to create success I started to solely identify with the materialistic aspects of that success. I learned some cool techniques about how to make money and I had the drive to go and make it happen, but I didn't understand the mindsets yet. And even though I went from being completely broke to earning over 43k in a single month in less than 3 months, something was still missing. I was happy when I was being a show off with my money and had the attention of others, but I wasn't truly happy. I went from the Ghetto to the Country Club in about 90 days and I didn't know how to handle it.
Then things started to unfold in my personal life. All the past things that I didn't mentally, emotionally or spiritually deal with came back to haunt me (there is a lot more to my story than what I mentioned above.) and consequently my business life followed. And that little journey led me to a place that some people would call hell. I turned into a recluse. I started digging deep within myself to places that were pretty friggin horrible. As I dug deeper into myself the darker it became and the more that darkness continued to perpetuate itself externally in my life. I alienated a lot of people and became a sloppy drunk, spending tons of money at bars and strip clubs and just trying to numb myself. But, you can only numb yourself for so long and then it doesn't work any more. It eventually goes the other way and magnifies that internal unrest.
So, I took some time off and started reading a lot of books and doing a lot of thinking. My family and friends initially thought I'd lost my mind when I pretty much gave up my material ambitions. But I realized that in order for me to arrive at the real underlying goal, I had to develop other ambitions. And those ambitions didn't have to take me far to find what I was looking for all these years. What I was looking for was not located at some other point in time hanging out with some other type of circumstance. It is right here with you, me and everyone else in this exact same moment that you are reading these words.
But sometimes we can get stuck thinking that our happiness will come once we buy that new car, or when we take that vacation or achieve some other form of external value. I sure as hell did.
When I realized that everything I have been looking for is already within me, then all of that fear and anger starting packing its bags. For the first time, I finally understood that all I had to do was just be me and nothing else. It is liberating to know that I get to create my life the way I want it to be not because it defines me, but because it brings me pleasure and because it's possible. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments. But the bad days have turned into only moments that can quickly be changed if I am present enough to be in that moment. I don't always get it right though, and thats just a part of this thing called life. There is no such thing as perfection. Our only choice is to sit where we are, or get up and get better.
So here it is: You/I don't have to have or do anything in order to be worthy of happiness with full knowledge of our true value. Eckhardt Tolle says in his book "The Power of Now" that we are human beings, not human doings. As a human "being", your only job is to "be"...what ever you want. And it is from this place of "being" that you can actually create the reality of your liking. Not because you have to achieve something to indentify yourself with, or to impress others with, but for the pure joy of the journey. Its for the fact that you are able and deserving to do so. It's all for you simply because it's possible for you.
So what does any of this have to do with creating a successful business? Everything! Because ultimately for most people, success is a means to an end called happiness. I am here to tell you that it works the other way around. Happiness is the starting point to success. Its just like when you hear people say "I'll have to see it to believe it". You will only hear those words from people who are mentally, emotionally, spiritually and/or financially broke to one degree or another. Life just doesn't work that way either. You've got to believe it first before you can ever see it.
There are no secrets to creating the life of your dreams. There are only mindsets and techniques. Since you have read this far down in my blog, I already know that you are aware of and working on your mindset. And that is the key to it all. The rest is just technicalities.
Successfully Yours,
Brian Kiplinger
530-554-0975
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